River Ridge Golf Club - West Houston, Katy Texas

Hmmm... from Trey Birchum:

Completely Biased Oscar Predictions

You all know what a movie buff I am, albeit one with strange tastes. The best part of the rehab from surgery was being able to watch a ton of movies, especially Best Picture nominees. Therefore, here are our completely biased, no hint of neutrality golf pro Oscar winners:

SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds. Supporting actors win for memorable, small roles. The opening scene of the movie, with Waltz interrogating a Resistance farmer in three languages, is chilling. Game over for the award season ten minutes into the movie. My secret hope is that Woody Harrelson will win and then I can get into every bar in Katy as an Oscar winner. It worked in college; I can still pull it off.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Mo’Nique, Precious. Because she scared me. A lot. In fact the movie in general scared me. Way worse than The Exorcist. Got a teenage daughter considering doing something stupid? Have them watch this movie. Scared Stiff-1, Stupid-0.

BEST ACTRESS: Sandra Bullock, Blind Side. Lifetime achievement award for being cute, harmless, and rehab-free. What should happen is the award be retired, given to Meryl Streep and she should pass it out on odd-numbered years when she doesn’t have a movie out. Would make things much simpler and cut a good ten minutes out of the show. Feel free to pass the suggestion on to all your Hollywood friends.

BEST ACTOR: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart. Because he should win. Because he could have won three or four times. Because he somehow makes us love an amoral, alcoholic jerk. But mostly because The Dude abides. When you consider the length of his career and the breadth of his performances, it’s pretty easy. Take that and add in the fact that only one other performance (Jeremy Renner’s) is truly memorable, and you should have a no-brainer. That makes him guaranteed to lose; Hollywood doesn’t do smart very often.

BEST DIRECTOR: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker. She only directed the most intense, realistic portrayal of the horrors and ambiguities of war since Saving Private Ryan. When you watch this movie, you get the sense that it was directed by someone who had been there. To me, that is the very definition of directing genius and accomplishment. For that, she deserves to win, and I could care less that she would be the first woman to win. If nothing else, either she or Lee Daniels (Precious) needs to win because James Cameron must be stopped.

BEST PICTURE: The Hurt Locker. No problem with that one. It is truly excellent film-making. My secret wish is that Inglorious Basterds would sneak up and win because of the funky voting process and my love of Tarantino flicks. My really deep, impossible secret wish is that District 9 would win because it’s dark, subversive, and creepy. All wrapped up in alien bug guts. I say all of this with the full knowledge that Avatar will probably win. So when the world does end in 2012, you can all say that I called it here first. The end of the world began when James Cameron’s ego took over Los Angeles and consumed all the oxygen in California. Then the earthquakes began, fires started, etc.....you know how it ends.

UPDATE 3/10/2010 A quick mid week note of hello...actually I’m just gloating. That’s right- the stinking golf pro went 6 for 6..Entertainment Tonight? Losers. E Network? Not a chance. Showbiz Tonight? Please. If you want all the best advice about things that will make you no money, have no redeeming social value and no consequence, you know where to call, right? Uh huh....the pro shop. We know everything that means nothing.

Fairways, greens and one putts.....

Trey Birchum
PGA Head Professional, River Ridge Golf Club
email: tbirchum AT riverridgegolfclub.com