River Ridge Golf Club - West Houston, Katy Texas

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Newsworthy

This Could Happen to YOU!

Get your renewal in for your 2012 GHIN Handicap- need to get in by mid-February. Call or email the pro shop to get it in. Or it expires. Then you sign up for an event. You don’t have a handicap. Your buddy turns you in and everyone in the shop vouches for you. Yea, he’s a good guy.....Then you have the weekend of your life. Break 80 twice for the first time ever. In a tournament. With a party afterwards. With an open bar..... the guys you just beat. Then you try to leave. You all know how this is going to end, right? Don’t wind up on YouTube or The Smoking Gun. Do you really want to call your wife for bail money? Do you want to read about yourself on Yahoo? And not in a good way? Renew your handicap. It can save your life.

PGA Merchandise Sneak Preview

Have some 2012 apparel already into the shop from Nike and Foot Joy, ahead of the PGA Merchandise Show which is wrapping up today. Call it a River Ridge sneak preview of great things to come for the year. Check it out when you come through the next few days. Going to be a beautiful weekend. Super Bowl is a week away. NBA is, well....remember what momma said....the NBA has started their season. What else are you going to do besides drive your kids nuts? Spend your time efficiently and wisely. You go home happy, kids are happy, everyone is happy. All because of River Ridge. Because we care. Even more than one paragraph ago. Sarah McLachlan song....everyone looks forlornly at the camera...kids, puppies, baby seals, fuzzy yellow ducklings. You know, before they get big, chase you and turn into feathered dirty flea hotels...sorry had to get that out....good for the soul....RR logo fades in....Sarah’s crying.....that’s good.....you get it....

Doppler Doppelgänger - We Have Vision

Yes we do, oh yes we do. Radar. Doppler Radar. Only we’re not using it to plan fishing trips. (Well we are, but that’s really none of your business now, is it? So there’s some company equipment that can possibly be used to plan pleasure excursions. And said equipment will tell me the launch angle of a hardhead when I whack it with an ASR rod in the head...tell me who hasn’t? You’re sitting there right now on your browser looking at boats, condos and betting sites. Is that any different? I’m not a monster, I’m just weak. Does this submarine my bid for the Presidency? Does that mean I can’t get my own show on Oprah’s channel? Does that mean..wha? huh?...got sidetracked...where were we? Oh yeah)

Doppler Radar. We can tell you your launch, ball speed, clubhead speed, swing path and carry distance. With three swings. We’ll even let you warm up first so you have no excuses. That’s how we roll.

Call the pro shop or email to set up your fitting appointment. And ixnay on the ishfay thing, OK?

Just a quick post to tell you all HAPPY NEW YEAR!! More...

Re: December 13

We will be closed after 12:00 Tuesday December 13th for a private function.

Do you love the color green?

Why yes Jimmy, that grass is green. From tee to green. That’s because we’ve provided you with something this winter that you just won’t get at your normal public golf course. Overseeded fairways. What that means to you is pretty, bright green fairways to aim at all winter. And when you get to your ball, you’re hitting off grass. All winter. Think that will help your score out any? Just trying to keep providing you with the best public course in the region. Think of it this way...yes we may have a big mouth, but we’ve got the grass to back it up.

What Drives You?

Congrats go out to Henry Jones our October winner of the Dozen Dozen. One more month to go to win 12 dozen Pro V1’s. Since most of you have already registered with the site and we have your email address, you need to give us something different. So here’s how you enter this month. Send me an email titled “Dozen Dozen” and tell me what driver you play. Don’t just give us a generic brand name; we want make, model, shaft the whole shebang. When we want to know about our customers, we really want to know about our customers.

The Day After Thanksgiving

We will be closed on Thanksgiving Day. The Friday after Thanksgiving is holiday rates, so no passes or coupons accepted that day. That’s also the day everything in the world goes on sale for Christmas. Think River Ridge will have some bargains? Hmm....

Tips/Thoughts From Our PGA Head Pro, Trey Birchum:

Controlling your Putt’s Length

Seeing way too much of something on the putting green, so need to make a general observation about the golfing public. It is basically difficult, if not impossible, to control the distance of a short putt when taking a three foot long backswing. Work to control the length of your putt by the length of your backswing. Use your toe as a guide- if you’re taking the putter head past your toes for a two foot putt, you had better be Mr. Crenshaw’s close blood relative. A short putt= a short backswing. Work on it next time you’re out- promise you’ll see a difference.

It’s got to get there…

I have no doubt at least once gone over this with a couple of you in the pro shop. And I may have even stuck it in a column once or twice. But I’m going to say this again, because I’m mad at myself and need a little tough love. GET IT TO THE HOLE!!! What a simple, concise, all encompassing phrase that says so little, yet so much. Are you leaving putts dead in the jaws? Can you not get one past the cup to save your life?

It’s a goofy game

It’s a goofy game...I know, I know… How many times have you heard about golf being a game of opposites? You want your divot to go to the right so the ball goes to the left, you hit the little ball instead of the big ball, except if you’re in a bunker then you....you all know what I mean.

What hole were you aiming at?

What hole were you aiming at? See, I wish I was making that up. But I’m not. I have played rounds with and watched people swing a golf club on one hole while aimed into the middle of an adjacent hole. What inevitably happens is they stripe one, dead down the line they’re aiming at, right into the woods toward the next hole.

Turn or over-turn…

One of the things you hear a lot of instructors and TV commentators talk about is making a big shoulder turn. A large shoulder turn is one of the factors that will increase your distance off the tee and with all your clubs. But there is one factor everyone seems to leave out when they are discussing a large shoulder turn…

Warming up…

How do you warm up for your round? I’ll tell you how I warm up; I open the trunk, get out my bag, put my shoes on, go to the tee, twist around a couple of times to pop my back and I hit. That’s it. I don’t hit range balls, I don’t putt, I just go. That’s what works for me. I’ve learned this through countless years of trial and mostly error, and it works because it’s in the rhythm of what I do every day. I’ve tried to go out on the range before a round and work through my bag, and I basically can’t. I don’t possess the attention span, and I freely admit it. One of the things people don’t understand about the golf business is…

Random Thoughts from Trey

The beat goes on…

Have had a couple of folks comment this week on last week’s column, i.e. what else does your beat reporter recommend. OK, here’s the list for this week…

The Black Keys- Just two guys playing rock ‘n roll. As simple and lovely as it gets.

Quad grande nonfat vanilla lattes- A nice little drink with four shot of espresso. We like to call it “The Shaker” at our house....

Adidas and Nike performance fabric shirts- You guys need to come to grips with a couple of things. You live in Southeast Texas. Global warming, ice age, asteroid hitting earth, Nostradamus....don’t care. It’s going to be hot and humid. If you’re not wearing performance fabrics you’re pretty much nuts. Unless of course you’re trying to lose weight. Then your plan of wearing a shirt that weighs nine pounds and smells like old goats after your round is right on track. Grew up on a ranch- that’s how I know what that smells like thank you very much. You should be glad I know and you don’t. You’re probably going to want to keep it that way.

Our greens- What, are you kidding me? Have you been out here lately? Well, you’re missing out...Just don’t go above the hole.

Babblings of a Golf Pro

Sure is easy to lose track, isn’t it? Your intrepid reporter has lost a close friend, the ability to swing a golf club and most of his lower gastrointestinal tract over the past couple of weeks. Not putting any of this out there for sympathy; rather quite the opposite. The past few weeks have become of laser of clarity in some regards. Take a look around you...what do you see? Your family, your friends, your co-workers...and it becomes so simple...time matters.

The time you spend with your loved ones, the time you spend with yourself. It all matters. So the obvious next question being “Why am I listening to the pseudo-psychological babblings of a freaking golf pro?” Well, for one reason, you’re sitting at work acting like you’re doing something important, but we both know you’re surfing the net trying to get around the company firewall. Second, stupid golf pro or not, there are some generalities in life that pertain to golf pros, presidents and popes alike, so quit playing Words with Friends long enough to let me finish.

Time matters. And the time you spend doing things like fishing, playing golf, going to the mall....that time especially matters. So this holiday season, take a look in the mirror, find the ones you love, and make sure you spend the time. Whether it’s on (insert gratuitous product placement here) River Ridge’s luscious green overseeded fairways and slick greens, or in your living room. Take the time.

If I were a Rich Man Who Could Write

Stuck. Blocked. A blank square enveloped in a vacuum. Nothingness consumed by voids. Black holes getting chewed up by toothless amoeba. Never give a man with writer’s block a metaphor. Just give him some cash, dear… maybe he’ll go away.

If I were a millionaire, the first thing I would be is fat. We’re talking cartel drug lord fat.

Kayak- gone. Replaced by 24 foot boat the salesman guaranteed would vortex fish out of the Gulf. Boat fitted w ice box, grill and pizza oven. No paddling, lifting, pushing, turning of anything but a button. I’m a millionaire now. You don’t really expect me to do all that anymore, do you? Besides, eating fish has health benefits. You got any gravy?

Golf- gone. Replaced by $37,000 Mercedes golf cart available in Sharper Image. Driven by new caddie, E. Woods. Used to go by another name, but laying low now trying to get back at one with himself. Plus, needs to save his dough for paternity tests. Caddy basically hits ball, drives to ball, tells me how far it is, gets out and hits again, maybe even a couple of more times. He putts everything outside of 6 feet. I putt everything shorter. My new scoring average per round- 13. Walk to green from golf cart total- 100 yards a day. Mr. Trump will also soon be redesigning a couple of courses to suit my needs. What do you mean walk over a bridge to the green? This thing won’t fit on it? I’m a millionaire...get it done. And those water coolers on each tee- gone. Replaced by buffets. Sorry, Donald. Just the cost of doing business with me....

Coaching/ Teaching Professional- Would still coach and teach golf, but have to time manage differently. The new Tom Landry Memorial crow’s nest tower above the elementary school looks sweet. Install one PA system, borrowed from estate of K. Cobain, coupled with recliner and video monitors. Children respond greatly to insults from a disembodied voice from above. Same setup with golfers, except the adult factor changes the game. From recliner, will set phase conjugate gun to stun and shoot any student who doesn’t listen. Won’t kill you; more like a cattle prod. Just letting you know, that you messed up. But can’t really be bothered to get up and tell you that. Because I’m a millionaire. And I’m feeling a little sleepy. Better crank up the A/C in this thing...it’s a little warm on the back of the range.

River Ridge. We pump our pro full of caffeine and stupid and let his cerebral cortex fight it out. Guess who won?

River Ridge Understands

Have come to the realization that PGA Pros have a certain skill set that most normal humans don’t possess. The following is a list of what we’re really good at versus the general public:

1. Remote controls- give any golf pro a remote and a TV and we’ll handle it. The remote doesn’t even have to match the TV. Through our special MacGyver golf professional training, we can reprogram, wire and solder if necessary. It only works on remotes; don’t bring your computers or stereos up here. Remotes only. Can’t explain it; it’s just how it works.

2. Smarting off. We’e just better at it than you are. Trust me on that one. See Exhibit A, idiot River Ridge golf pro. Enough said, your honor.

3. The Simpsons. With the exception of Travis Rogers, no one on earth can relate every day life to a Simpsons episode as good as a golf professional. Why? Because it comes on at 6:00 or 7:30 PM. While you’re playing, working, cooking, playing with the kids, you know, normal stuff, we’re in the pro shop. Watching TV. And guess what we’re watching? Yeah, I know what we’re supposed to be watching. But everyone knows better…

4. Shoes. We can save them, or destroy them, your choice. Because we’re on our feet most of the day, golf professionals tend to develop foot fetish issues. Some of us (not mentioning any names) have more shoes than our wives. Or Imelda Marcos. Want to know if a style of shoe is any good? Ask any random golf professional; we’ll know.

So, in summation: Wear your coolest shoes with your remote in your back pocket, come to the River Ridge pro shop so we can smart off and tell you that you look like Krusty the Klown. Try that at another course and see what kind of reception you get. River Ridge. We understand.

Early-life Crisis

You go from the closest thing to immortal that exists on terra firma to universally reviled overnight. Probably going to short out a few wires in the old inner computer. Most people wait until late 40’s, early 50’s to have the midlife crisis. Thirty-five is the new fifty-five.... You ran off everyone closest to you because you were constructed of iron and teflon. Who will stick to you now? Who wants to? Just say you’re sorry, man. Not the robo press release “I apologize to my wife, my family, my money...” stuff you rolled out when in all went down. Try meaning it. Pretty sure at this point you might.

This just in: Houston is hot!

Heading out to the hinterlands for a bit, so some last minute thoughts as your intrepid reporter becomes a cloud of dust....

An American will not win the British Open. Also just in, the Astros are terrible and Houston is hot. Next week, we blow the lid off the whole water situation...next week, our stunning expose of the inside workings of our local government reveals that, yes, water is wet. Back to you Ron.

And in local news, we will be hosting the River Ridge Junior Classic again this year on August 17th and 18th- 8:00 AM tee times. You can contact the pro shop or email us to sign up; registration begins August 1st and ends on August 15th.

Lots of fun in the sun to be had at the River. We’ve got specials posted for you for the next couple of weeks so you can schedule some family time. Or alone time. Or buddy time. You can call it whatever you want, just call River Ridge to do it.

Upcoming Events:

School Golf’s Around the Corner

We’re about to ramp back up into school season again. River Ridge will be hosting our annual River Ridge Junior Classic on August 4th and 5th. Anyone interested in having your son or daughter try out for the local high school team needs to contact your coach and make sure that you get into the event. In addition…

Our Summer Junior Camps Are Scheduled!

The first camp begins June 23rd - call the pro shop for details.

Tournament Results:

2009 Austin County Classic 1228716000

We had us an old-fashioned barn burner in the Professional Flight Division of The 2009 Austin County Classic.

River Ridge Senior Championship

Round 1 of the River Ridge Senior Championship is in the books. Round 2 is this Tuesday @ 8:30 AM.

MSGA Results 10/3 - 10/10

Week of 10/3 - 10/10: The results of last week’s Low Gross/ Low Net tournament.

Quotes:

Customers rave about golfing at The River

Every hole from the tee box to the green is a portrait of what Texas golf should be.
David A. Dodson, Golfrave.com

From the time I arrived to the time I left River Ridge, I felt I was at a private club instead of a public course. The people were great. The course was idyllic. Can’t wait to go back.
Tom Stell, Houston, TX

Best public golf course facility in the Houston area.
Les Lemak, Member, Champions Golf Club, Houston, TX

Awards and Recognition:

Houston Chronicle Golf Surveys

Top 3, New Courses
Top 3, Best Public Courses
#1 Best Golfing Value
#2 Favorite Course
#6 Hot Spot in Texas (Houston area)
#11 Texas’ Hidden Gems
Top 12, Best Public Courses in Texas

Fodor’s - Golf Digest “Places To Play”

4 1/2 Stars - “Outstanding. Plan your next vacation around it.” Major award winner for “Good Place of Play, Good Value, Good Conditioning.”

Golf Digest

Only daily fee golf course in Texas noted in Dan Jenkins’ article “Best 18 Holes of the New Generation.”